| Sacred
Vows Excerpt
OATH OF ALLEGIANCE
I. Motivation
During my childhood the country was in chaos. It was the war of liberation
and the Viet Minh infiltrated. The French colonialists chained innocent Khmers
while Khmers killed each other.
It was desperate I looked at the sky; it was high. Because I was a farm child
I didn't understand anything. Often I was miserable for my people, who had no
leaders. The
Khmers lived in shame. They were once noble, proud, glorious, but they had lost
everything. They'd lost human dignity. They'd been living in fear, waiting for
death. They
lost their independence; they lived in anxiety and uncertainty, day in and day
out. They lost unity. They farmed the land; they made a living but there was never
enough to eat. I
lived the agony of my people as the earth thundered. Khmers were half-nude shivering
like chickens. No money to pay taxes, no land to grow rice. I
could not stand it; my commitment compelled me, forced my will to pronounce this
oath begging God to guide my way with these sacred vows which I relate to you
now: II. Pronouncement
"If I am a rake let me not survive. If I just weigh down the earth let me
drop dead. Let me sink with the sun if I disgrace this land of Kok Thlok. I
shall never betray you, my Motherland! I was born from your womb, and I shall
pay my debts to the shade where I've rested, the shade of the thlok tree, where
Gautama had once sat. But
if my lot is to lead a life of deprivation may my body be swallowed up by Mother
Earth before I've grown up. Do not let me weep in sorrow for my Motherland." Then,
I burned three sticks of incense. Facing the Father of Life I raised both my hands
over my head, praying to God crying out for the Truth before the revolving ember.
I
cried out for the Truth: "Why are my people always mistreated
living in a broken homeland. Who has cursed this little
nation?" I cried out for Peace for my people.
-1952
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